letter to my younger self

I hate it when my mom picks out books for me for Christmas. Every year I tell her not to and every year she does it anyway, this year was no different. One of the books was called What I Know Now, Letters To My Younger Self. The title intrigued me. So I read it. I loved it. Weird. My upcoming turning of decades has me thinking alot about the past. I also spent the afternoon with my ailing grandfather at the hospice. Over and over I keep thinking what would I say in a letter to my previous self and at what age, knowing what I know now. I would write to myself at age twenty on the brink of twenty-one. Fresh off of a big break up and about to plunge into a disaster of a relationship and a string of uncertanity once that was over.
Dear Annalea,
I know things have been rough lately, but hang in there. That little voice inside of you is telling you that this is the right choice. Your life is changing now, embrace it, but don't ever stop listening to that little voice. When from the begining of your next relationship that little voice says not to take this one too seriously listen to it. But you won't because listening isn't one of your strong points. When you get in this relationship and that little voice tells you to leave. Do it, the first time and don't look back, because your gonna miss out. This is the time to be wild and free and do the things you want to do and have the experiences later in life you will regret not taking. Had you had taken that time you might had learned some lessons about people you wished you had learned before thirty. Learn to let go of the people who don't tell you how wonderful you are and make you feel it all the time. Don't hold on to the wrong people for wrong reasons. Learn what the right reasons are. The thing about this relationship is that it's gonna make you a fighter and not a smart one. You are strong but, your just throwing fists blind because you feel like you have defend yourself against everyone. Your gonna come out of this. After this relationship is done your still not gonna get it right until you learn to trust yourself. That voice is gonna be askew because you ignored it for so long. Your will have regrets about the one you let go and more regerets about the one you choose to keep around. Either way your instinct will get you where you are supposed to go. You will find the soul mate you've been looking for, in the place you least expect it. So I say to you, listen to that little voice, and getting to a happy place in life would be a much smoother ride.
With Love,
Anna